A crash course in surrogacy…

One could argue, based on the dates of my old emails, that our journey started on February 17, 2016.  This is the date I first requested information from a random company regarding surrogacy and egg donation.  However, we really got serious on July 6, 2016.  You will have to forgive my lack of certain details, but seeing as we are almost a year later some of those said details are a bit hazy.  I know…I should have started this earlier.  Hopefully I can play some catch up and get you all up to speed to where we are now so moving forward I can give you the play-by-play as we live it.

So back to July 6….

Picture it…Los Angeles…2016 (I really hope you get that reference).

Our search began. We sent out information requests to what seemed to be some of the highest rated surrogate matching companies in Southern California.  Many of them also partnered with various egg donor companies, so I also signed us up to view the corresponding egg donor registries just to play around and see what was out there while waiting on surrogate agency information.

Agencies are pretty quick to respond.  On average it only took an hour or less to get a packet of information over to my inbox.  Despite having heard stories about them, my first OMG moment was when I received the first estimated cost sheet for the surrogacy process.  I mean…. holy crap this is an expensive process.  We’re talking an average of $120,000-$180,000 on average, all said and done…assuming minimal complications.  I’ll admit, the thought crossed my mind that perhaps this was going to be MAJORLY cost prohibitive.  But where there’s a will, there’s a way and I made a way for this to work out for us.  Sure, it took a re-finance of our mortgage, a new HELOC, and some movement of investments into high yield savings accounts to get us there, but we made it work.  That process alone took me almost 6 months to complete but the timing actually worked out pretty well.  Fortunately the costs aren’t an upfront sort of thing so we have some recovery time in between some of the large chunks of expenses.

While we waited for all of the financial stuff to line up, we began to interview surrogacy companies.  I had Skype sessions to start.  The case manager at Surrogate Company A and the case manager at Surrogate Company B were equally impressive with regards to explaining the process and making me feel incredibly at ease about this entire process (minus the financial aspects for which I had to come to terms with on my own).  I didn’t really see any point to interview any other companies at that time as I was confident that one of these two agencies would be the right fit for us.  For whatever reason, call it gays intuition or possibly even just the slight proximity advantage to our house, we decided to have an in-person consultation with Surrogate Company B, and say our goodbyes to Surrogate Company A.

In between the Skype session and our in-person meeting with Surrogate Company B on July 22nd, I was also able to sneak in a few Skype consultations with some of the Egg Donation companies just to get an idea of how they operated as well.  Any reservations I had about Surrogate Company B were alleviated by these egg donor Skype calls.  Every company I spoke to, despite their affiliation with other surrogate agencies, highly recommended Surrogate Company B. So YAY! I felt like I was off to a good start and was making good decisions so far.

Come July 22nd, we had our formal consultation.  This meeting was mainly about the history, stories, and success rates of their company as well as a reiteration of how the whole process works so Mr. Y could hear it all first hand since he wasn’t on my initial video chat with them.  This meeting was pretty quick, maybe about 45 minutes or so and filled us up with excitement and lots of information….but the REAL consultation was still to come.  August 30 would be the date and we were told to allot 5 full hours for that meeting.  More to come on that meeting in my next post.  xoxo

 

 

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3 thoughts on “A crash course in surrogacy…

  1. Hey Mr. X, I saw you followed my blog and it is so rare to see another couple on here who is in the surrogacy world that I thought it’d be nice to follow along on your journey! Surrogacy is amazing and I wish you all the luck in the world as you navigate this process toward having a family. I don’t post as often anymore, but I did share what our surrogate birth story was like on my blog last month, if you’re interested. And if you ever have any questions that you think I may be able to help with, let me know! Lots of luck to you and Mr. Y. xx

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    1. Hi Ashley. Thank you so much for your comment! I am definitely going to be reading through your whole journey as well. Even just your first post gave me the chills because I can so relate to it! I am excited to get to the birth story as I need some happy vibes over here. I have yet to report on much of our journey thus far, but just to give you a bit of a spoiler…we are doing our second transfer attempt this Friday! Unfortunately our first transfer didn’t take so naturally this time around we are much more anxious and even more excited at the prospects. Your story certainly gives me a lot of hope that our could end up as happily. All the best to you and your family!! xo

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      1. I am so sorry to hear about your first transfer. I know how devastating that experience is because our first transfer failed as well. It was almost two years ago in March 2015, but I still think of it from time to time. There is so much riding on each attempt, but I think surrogacy kicks it up a notch because there is also a third person (and possibly their spouse/partner) involved in the process too, which most couples don’t have to worry about when doing IVF. However, don’t lose hope– our son is actually a second-transfer baby! I thought we were going to be the ones that it wouldn’t work out for since everything else had failed us up until then, but just a few minutes ago I strapped little toddler shoes on my 12-month-old and sent him out to the playground with his daddy… it really can happen! I’ll be thinking of you all tomorrow and praying everything goes smoothly and that this little embryo is your Baby Z 🙂

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